Sichernde Seele

I had the extreme pleasure of celebrating an early Christmas with my Other Family. 

My Brother From Another Mother - Logan, my niece - Cassie & nephew - Walt. 

This year, with things being what they are, I had the great fortune to be reconnected with a very old friend.  His class at church titled "Come As You Are" were looking to spread a little Christmas Cheer. 

I knew just the family that could use some! 

It was absolutely outstanding to see the kids' faces light up as they opened their gifts. 

I spent at least a couple of hours surrounded by family, old friends, new friends & happy faces. 

From Charleston, we made our way to Baton Rouge on the 18th.  By the time we arrived in the wee hours of the 19th, I was ready to drop.  I managed to get a few hours of sleep, but I knew I needed to wake up relatively early. 

After a visit with my niece & nephew with everyone, I dropped the boys back at the grandparents and decided to completely and totally veg out in quiet while Logan & The Girls went to church.  After some very complicated "Cat Math", I lay down for a VERY long winter's nap.

Shortly after all this furry math, I receive a phone call that Max's ear is hurting.  I ask the vital medical questions.  There is no fever.  I am told he was given Tylenol.  I advise some Ibuprofen and a decongestant.  Turns out, he was given Tylenol Cold & Flu that contains a decongestant.  The beginning of the phone call was fairly panicked and included "You must come right away!!!"  I wasn't able to leave right then and requested to be kept apprised of the situation should anything change. 

After years in the medical field, there is a large difference between an emergency and discomfort.  Though I never wish for my children to be uncomfortable, I refuse to rush off to the emergency room for what was likely a result of him having flown with a minor cold.  15 minutes or so later, I'm informed "I'm fine now, Mommy.  I burped and it stopped hurting."

The next day, I discovered quite a bit of blood on his pillow and realized that his TM had likely burst.  Max spent the next several days in no discomfort but with a very noticeable drainage from his ear.  He stated he had some muffled sound in that ear.  Very classic signs of a ruptured eardrum.  I called the doctor and was told what I was already fairly certain of.  Not much to do but keep it clean, avoid water in the ear and keep checking on his hearing. 

We will have him checked out and cleared for flight before our return to Germany. 

He currently reports complete return of hearing, no more drainage, but I'm still concerned a bit by the spots/sores around his outer ear.  I'm not sure if they were brought on by itching while the ear was draining, if the itching/sores are PART of the problem or a combination of the two.  We'll find out when he goes to the doctor.  In the meantime, he seems to be on the mend.   




Coming soon...A short reprieve...

 

 

Over the weekend before we left Germany, I got some sort of a bite on my left heel.  It was far too cold for mosquitoes, but it resembled a mosquito bite. 

The day before we left, this started to develop into a rash.  The rash spread up my legs.  I started to wonder if there had been a change to the formula of my detergent. 

By the time we got to Charleston, I was a wreck.  The rash was now on my arms and legs.  I was convinced it was something horrible.  I'd dealt with "worst case scenario" before and was in a panic.  I launched an all out offensive. 

I went to the Doc-In-The-Box in Charleston.  Without actually doing any tests or really looking at it for more than a few seconds, he confirmed my fears and gave me a prescription.  However, he only gave me enough for myself.  If it was what I feared, then I needed enough for the whole family. 

I spent my entire time in Charleston panicky, upset and with a very decided lack of enjoyment.  I'm sure I was making everyone nuts.  But, hey.  If you're gonna go down, why not take the whole world with ya?  (KIDDING!)

The good news was that the medication did NOTHING for the rash.  Meaning...the "OHMYGOD WORST CASE SCENARIO ALERT!!!!" was completely unfounded.  Yes, I still had a rash, but now instead of being panicked over it, I got to do what I do well and figure out this little puzzle. 

I found out that they did, indeed, change my detergent.  I also suspect that when they worked on the pipes in my building in Bamberg, they may have contaminated the water.  I found a few large bits of some sort of metal impaled in my jeans that were bothering me the worst. 

I changed my detergent and all was right with the world again.  I have some scarring, but it is minor and I think it shall surely go away eventually.  The majority of the scars?  On my poor brain. 

Not all the mental scarring is due to the rash, mind you.  But that's for the next story...

Though I was excited about the gifts I had gotten for the kids this year, I was extremely lacking in the Holiday Spirit.  I'd jokingly told someone that my Christmas Elves were too busy getting drunk to visit and share the cheer.  I think that managed to anger the Gods and they spent their holidays uproariously guffawing at my Epic Screw-Ups Challenges Comedy of Errors!!! 

I was watching an episode of Bones recently.  I was already amazed to see Cyndi Lauper in it as she is one of my very favorite artists.  Then the song started.  The minute I heard the opening line, I knew I was going to be hooked. 

I think I found my Deployment Song this time.  Of course, we'll always have "Where'd You Go" by Fort Minor, but this one is especially poignant because this time, I've got no chance of being in the same place. 


"Fearless"                                 

Sometimes I'm afraid when you go
Sometimes I'm afraid when you come home
Underneath it all ...
I think I'm afraid when there's nothing wrong.

But if I was fearless ...
Could I be your reckless friend
And if I was helpless ...
Could you be the one comes rushing in.

There's something that I never told
When I find myself slipping off of my pedestal
I'm a fierce believer afraid to fall.

But if I was fearless ...
Could I be your reckless friend
And if I was helpless ...
Could you be the one comes rushing in.

Sometimes I'm afraid of the dark
I can't find the light in my heart
I can see my hand pushing away
Hard as I can

But if I was fearless ...
Could I be your wreckless friend
And if I was helpless ...
Could be the one comes rushing in.

Sometimes I'm afraid when you go ...

I'm extremely emotional today.  I'm ready.  I'm not ready.  I'm fine.  I feel like crap.  Need more time.  Wish that I could just get the "waiting" over with already.  Speak.  Don't speak.  Look at me like that.  Don't look at me like that.  I was there before, I should be there now, I should be here now.  

I'm weak, I'm strong.  I'm homesick and I don't want to leave home.  I am the cheerleader, the nurse, the midnight watch.  I am the proud, the loud and the brave.  I am the silent, the nervous & afraid.  I am the teacher, the student, I take it all in.  I love, I sigh, I pray, I sing. 

We're holding watch, we're sounding off.  See you soon, not soon enough. 

I am all of these things.  I am a DAMN Proud Army Wife, Mother, Daughter & Friend.  Thank your soldiers today!!!! 

Had our portraits done professionally a few weeks ago.  I love taking pictures, but it's hard for me to get myself in the shot with the rest of my lovely family.

The local portrait studio on post sounded like a great plan! 

She was wonderful with the dog & the kids.  She also kind of let us say what type of poses we were looking for.  With photographers as subjects, it can sometimes be hard.  The subject has an idea of what they want it to look like, but the photographer often has a completely different vision. 

Breanna was AMAZING at listening to what we wanted to do and her patience with the small critters & Loki was outstanding.

If you are in the Bamberg area, go see her! 

Dearest Kris,

     You will be missed, loved & waited for each & every day.  Come home safely to our home.  We'll leave the light on for ya!

                                                         Love,
                                                            Holly

This morning, I am pondering a question I've been asking for the last couple of years. 

"Do I want more kids?"

The answer, although not really surprising, is nahhh. 

I've spent the last 24 hours with two AMAZING kids.  They remind me of mine at those ages & they really make me smile.  They are cute and adorable and make me want to snuggle & kiss them till they just can't take one more second. 

It's not like one of those proclamations after hours of something bad where you go "OH HELL NO" and run screaming.  It's not even close. 

It is completely & simply that I LOVE this.  This happy cloud of "oooh you are toooooo cute for words!!!!" would burst if I actually had my own around 24 hours a day.  I so cherish these moments and I remember them fondly with my kids.  However, I also remember being at the end of my rope and ready to hide under a bed. 

I think, to be truly happy, I will live vicariously through friends and enjoy raising my very fuzzy baby. 

Now I think I understand why Grandparents love being Grandparents.  It's a good life. 

Gotta run!  We are watching Transformers & snuggling on the couch this morning. 

Last night, as I crunched over the leaf littered sidewalk with my footsteps over brittle leaves echoing in the cold, I realized it was awfully symbolic of things to come. 

This year, I did not get a picture of all three of my kids in costume together. 

This year, I did not have to watch three different directions while Trick or Treating. 

This year, I had to catch as catch can just to see them all. 

Where did the time go?  When did I transition from 3 little kids to 3 kids that are fighting their way to college??

Morgan was at a party and I saw her in passing a couple of times.  It was kind of like playing hide & seek all night.  "Honey, I saw blue hair...I'm gonna run get a few pictures of Morgan!"

Max is the only one I took Trick or Treating.  It was very strange not to be struggling to keep them all together.  It seems like only yesterday that I had Max in a stroller & was concerned about Madison tripping over his costume. 

Once upon a time, they would brave any weather for candy.  Last night Max says "Mom, I'm pretty much done.  It's too cold out here."  Really???  Really, Max?  Who ARE YOU??

When we got home, he proclaimed that I could pick out four pieces instead of three this year from his stash.  What a pal!

This is in response to Beth Fish's post about handwriting.  Go, read her blog! 

http://www.sothefishsaid.com/2009/10/click_to_enlarge_1.html